Chyna’s New Book Another “Tell All”

On January 30th, the latest wrestling autobiography hits bookshelves everywhere, “If They Only Knew,” which chronicles the life and budding career of Chyna. The ‘ninth wonder of the world’ traces her path to the World Wrestling Federation.

Chyna, real name Joanie Marie Laurer, reveals that she does not associate with her parents. She claims to have not spoken to her mother since age sixteen. In the book, Chyna also states that her father sells “bits and pieces” of her on the internet.

She enrolled at the University of Tampa in fall of 1988. Chyna served as a RA, or as she describes, “a dorm supervisor.” Her studies at the University centered on training to join the FBI or the secret service. It was her father’s wishes that lead Chyna on that educational path. Upon graduation, she learned that her father had secretly taken out students loans, leaving Chyna $40,000 in debt.

In the book, Chyna describes some of the odd jobs she took before joining the WWF. She mentions that she was on a 900-sex line, and served tables in a topless bar. All the while, she saved money to eventually train as a wrestler.

Laurer contracted wrestling legend Wladek (Walter) “Killer” Kowalski to begin her pro wrestling training. A star of the 50’s and 60’s, Kowalski has trained the likes of Chyna’s boyfriend Triple H, Perry Saturn, and Prince Albert among others.

Chyna’s time spent at Kowalski’s Institute of Professional Wrestling in Massachusetts was anything but glamorous. In fact, Kowalski often keep the heat on low, the ring would occasionally collapse, not to mention that the head trainer himself would nod off.”

When Joanie Laurer met WWF superstars Shawn Michaels (who Chyna spells Sean through out the book) and Triple H (then Hunter Hearst Helmsley) in Springfield, Mass. She impressed the duo enough to have them attempt to persuade Vince McMahon into hiring her. The WWF chairman vehemently turned down their suggestion, but a persistent Helmsley finally convinced McMahon to bring her in. Triple H called a pleasantly surprised Laurer to inform her that she was hired.

There was an almost instant attraction between Laurer and Triple H (Paul Levesque), but she decided to keep their relationship a secret. “I wanted to be recognized for my talent, not who I was sharing a bed with,” states Chyna.

One of the highlights of Chyna’s young career came at the 1999 No Mercy PPV in Cleveland. Chyna faced Jeff Jarrett, who was on his way back to WCW, in a “good housekeeping” match for the Intercontinental title match. She claims the match is regarded as “one of the most entertaining matches in WWF history.”

Chyna recalls the night that one of her breast implants was punctured in the ring. It occurred in a match with Savio Vega. After their encounter, she noticed that one breast appeared smaller than the other. Eventually the punctured implant flattened to the point where she was forced to fill her bra with socks to avoid being noticed. Since more surgery was required, Chyna opted for even larger breast implants.

According to the WWF’s web site, Chyna’s book “is a must for any Federation fan,” Younger wrestling fans shouldn’t read this book, in anyway shape or form, as the text is laden with unnecessary four letter obscenities. If you are not necessarily a fan of Chyna’s, this probably isn’t the wrestling book for you. In the final analysis, Chyna comes off a tad bitter and negative in this reading.

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